haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
