omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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