It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
