South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize