I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
operation have a gay friend backfired
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
