He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
