If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
