I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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