u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
So vagazzling was a success
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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