sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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