there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
