what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
