Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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