hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
