she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
