He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
