Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
