He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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