you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
