hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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