Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
