I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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