Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
