That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
