I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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