Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
