I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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