They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
