dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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