"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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