If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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