in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
