You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
