The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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