Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
