that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
