I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
