i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
