i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
