keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
