I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
