i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
i've created a new STD.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
