Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
