new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
That accounts for only three of the penises
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize