so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I am one with the molecules
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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