Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
