how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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