just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
