I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize