I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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