I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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