I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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