Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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