She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
