Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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