Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
