well you can't waste a boner
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
