she looked like the before picture.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
