Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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