I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I supernannyed him into submission
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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