I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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